Christmas ponderings

So far I have not made much of an effort to get Christmas into my heart. I have been listening to lots of Christmas music though :) I have been trying to keep things very basic and have been thinking about the birth of my Savior. I have been pondering about what happened in between the lines.

Mary is visited by an angel and told she will conceive and bear the son of God. I know that she was incredibly valiant and was given lots of help. But I can't help wondering how people viewed her. She was engaged to be married and pregnant. Did they whisper and shun her in the market place? Did many people know the truth and did they believe her?

I also find the relationship between Mary and Joseph interesting. He is such a kind and gentle man. He truly loved Mary. He wanted to do right by her.
Matthew 1: 19 Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily.
He didn't want to embarrass her or make things worse than they needed to be. Then he was visited by the angel and it says that when he woke he took Mary to wife. I imagine he was very supportive to her in the delivery of Jesus. Was he frustrated that he couldn't find somewhere better than a mere stable? Did he ever feel confused or perhaps jealous that Mary was given such a great responsibility? I don't think so. It seems that he was endlessly loving and supportive; definitely chosen for the job. He seems to have known his place. He was the child's protector and example here on earth, yet he was not His father. But I can easily imagine the two of them working in the shop together and having a special bond with each other.

This scripture has been one of my favorites for many years-
Luke 2:19 But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.
What a spiritual giant she must have been! I strive to be more like her.
This is probably my favorite picture. I don't know much about art, but when this picture was the in the Ensign a few years ago, it brought me to tears. I cut it out and hung it next to my bed. (Sorry that it's on a store site, but I wasn't sure about copyrighting issues).
How would she have felt when the shepherds showed up? She had just given birth for the first time. Birth is kind of a dirty, exhausting, wonderful experience. I cherish those first few hours when it is just me, daddy and the baby. Yet the child was not completely hers. Did she fully understand this when people came to worship him? Did she ever want to say, hey guys, can you come back later? I just gave birth and am not really up to entertaining right now. As far as we can tell she didn't. She just pondered everything in her heart.

And the shepherds. What pure, simple faith they had. What joy must have filled their hearts to have an angel personally announce the birth of the Savior to them!

The wise men. I have thought a lot about them lately on their journey to find Christ. They must have studied and been watching for the new star. Were they ridiculed for their faith and hope? When they decided to go on this long journey what did those around them think? Were they supportive or did their wives think they were crazy? Did the wise men ever feel like turning around? What a big gamble to travel such a long way. And at the end of their journey did they feel it had all been worth it? I believe they did. I feel that we are all on a journey to find Christ and we can follow their example.

I believe that Christ was born on the earth, just as it says in the scriptures. I believe He is the Only Begotten Son. He came to earth because He loves us and His father. Through Him all my wishes can come true. I love Him and want so desperately to feel worthy to be in His presence when I get my chance to meet Him.
I wish you all a very Merry Christmas!

P.S. If you haven't had a chance to watch these videos you really should. They are beautiful!

Always

It is late (or very early), but I have been thinking about the word always. I don't want to over analyze things (although the risk for that is really quite low), but I think that there are mysteries and valuable lessons contained in details.

In school the word always is a big red flag in true or false questions. That one word stands out because it is rarely, if ever correct. Chemistry is one place that comes to mind. Elements never react the same way every time. How interesting is it that it is one of God's most defining attributes, yet here on earth we see the word always and automatically assume it is false? I think this is one of the concepts my little mortal brain can't quite get a good hold on. I have faith that it is true and I have evidence of it in the scriptures. Someday I will understand the breadth and scope of that word.

Here are a few of those scriptures-
Doctrine and Covenants 62:9 Behold, the kingdom is yours. And behold, and lo, I am with the faithful always. Even so. Amen.

Mosiah 29:12 Now it is better that a man should be judged of God than of man, for the judgments of God are always just, but the judgments of man are not always just.
What a relief that is to know that His judgments are always just! We can know exactly where we stand and what we can improve on.

Mosiah 4:12 And behold, I say unto you that if ye do this ye shall always rejoice, and be filled with the love of God, and always retain a remission of your sins; and ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you, or in the knowledge of that which is just and true.
I came across this scripture a couple of weeks ago and found such joy in it. What a wonderful peace that comes from knowing the constancy and unchanging nature of God and His plan.

2 Corinthians 2:14 Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of his knowledge by us in every place.

Doctrine and Covenants 108:8 And behold, and lo, I am with you to bless you and deliver you forever. Amen.
I love the simplicity and directness in this one. It is a fact. He wants to bless us always.

Moroni 7:47 But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.
His love endures forever. This is a blessing that I am working on understanding, accepting and welcoming with the hope that one day I will be able to emulate Him.

In a world that is constantly changing I am filled with gratitude and peace to know that there is someone I can always rely on.

Isaiah 49:16 Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.

The Holy Ghost

Being completely honest here- I have not been having very meaningful scripture study the last couple of weeks. I don't know if I have just been having some "off" time or if I have been doing something wrong. The talks in sacrament meeting today gave me a jump start. Their subject matter was the Holy Ghost. I have had many thoughts come to me today so hopefully I can put them in a somewhat cohesive manner.

One of the speakers quoted extensively by this talk from Richard G. Scott. It is one that I studied and was touched by, but have not reread recently. He says that while the goal of being led by the spirit can "be a daunting task [it] will be much easier to manage over time as you consistently strive to recognize and follow feelings prompted by the Spirit. Your confidence in the direction you receive from the Holy Ghost will also become stronger."

This reminded me of a great talk that was given at my aunt's baptism a couple of years ago. He gave the example of a doctor who hadn't practiced medicine in some years. As a patient you would not go to him to receive care because it had been so long since he had actively practiced. He compared practicing medicine to the guidance of the Holy Ghost. It is a skill that needs to be developed and practiced. I thought it was a wonderful analogy.

Next I started thinking about how that related to something my mentor teacher would tell his students. He would say that no matter how well you brushed your teeth yesterday you still need to do it again today. He was talking about practicing your instrument, but applies to the Holy Ghost as well. Even if I read my scriptures yesterday and had meaningful prayer, which allowed the Holy Ghost to present with me, I need to do it again today.

Elder Scott goes on to say- "Spirituality yields two fruits. The first is inspiration to know what to do. The second is power, or the capacity to do it. These two capacities come together." I have always known the first fruit, but I had never realized the second. It is such an amazing blessing and I should have realized it sooner! We know that when we are on the Lord's errand we are entitled to His help. If you have received direction from the Lord, He will give you the help or power to do it. I need to remember that even though I am weak when I yoke myself to Him, His power will help me.

Next Elder Scott shares some experiences of when he received revelation. I won't go into them too much in detail, but I hope you will read his talk and go through them. The part that I do want to share is the importance of recording inspiration as it comes. A few years ago I was in the habit of reading with a notebook and recording thoughts that came. As I would reread the things I had written I would sometimes find guidance for my current problems which I had no idea of when I recorded them. I am recommitting to getting into this habit again.

One more quote from Elder Scott that I don't think needs any explaining. "The inspiring influence of the Holy Spirit can be overcome or masked by strong emotions, such as anger, hate, passion, fear, or pride. When such influences are present, it is like trying to savor the delicate flavor of a grape while eating a jalapeño pepper. Both flavors are present, but one completely overpowers the other. In like manner, strong emotions overcome the delicate promptings of the Holy Spirit."

We had a wonderful discussion in relief society today. We were studying Doctrine and Covenants 121. We were studying the priesthood so we didn't read the end verses, but I reread them. I chose the address for this blog from verse 45. If we continue with verse 46 it says - "The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever." I had to look up some of these words for a better understanding. After reading this I thought what more can we ask for? Having the Holy Ghost constantly with us, having power made of truth and righteousness and dominion (which I interpret to mean our families) coming unto us of their own free will forever! How wonderful is that!?

One final thought. Work. The carnal side of me does not like this word. I have this terrible habit of just wishing and praying insincerely for blessings and guidance, but then I don't follow through. Then I whine about how I wish things were better (Laman and Lemuel alert!). I need to work harder to invite the Lord and the Holy Ghost into my life. The past two nights I have been pondering over what the Bible Dictionary says about prayer. I had always been impressed by this line-Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. But there is much more to it. I need to dig deeper in my studying. Anyway, this part is very pertinent to me right now-Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them. Prayer is a form of work, and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings. I need to get past this mentality and get to work. It is as simple as that.

1 Nephi 10:19 For he that diligently seeketh shall find; and the mysteries of God shall be unfolded unto them, by the power of the Holy Ghost, . . .

This turned out to be much longer than I thought so I'm sorry for that, but I want to publicly commit to inviting the spirit into my life. I need His help so desperately. I have been reading my scriptures at night and I want to keep doing that, but I feel that I need to invite the Holy Ghost into my life in the mornings so he can be present throughout my day. I am going to wake up 30 minutes earlier and make sure I have my pen and paper with me. Bring on the blessings!

The Enlightenment Journey

The relief society in our ward has been reading The Infinite Atonement by Tad R. Callister. They invited him to speak to them about the process of writing this book. A lot of his comments were enlightening so I thought I would post my notes in the hopes that they might help some one (and so if I loose my paper I can look here :) ). Confession time-I have not yet read the book, but am going to start soon. I didn't have enough brain capacity to read this book and Jesus the Christ at the same time.

How he wrote it-
* He started researching in 1982. He decided he wanted to study topics more in depth than he had done before. He started with the Atonement and thought he would work on it about 30 days. At the end of 30 days he decided to go another 30 days. Then he decided to just keep going until he felt like it was time to stop. 18 years later the book was published.
* His method was to put each question he had about the atonement on a folder then add any scriptures or quotes that answered this question into the folder.
* Some of his main sources-Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, Joseph F. Smith, Orson F. Whitney (a poem called Elias), James E. Talmage and Bruce R. McConkie. The non LDS authors he recommended were John Milton- "Paradise Lost", Frederick W. Farrar- "Life of Christ", John Dunn and C.S. Lewis.
* He felt like a very inadequate writer, but there were times when he could tell the Lord was speaking through his pen.
Some of the lessons he learned while writing-
* Good books take time.
* He was given some criticism and had to decide if he wanted to win (he wanted to defend his writing) or have a better book. He decided to have a better book. We can apply this to ourselves-do you want to win or have a better marriage? a better relationship with your family? etc.
* Sometimes commentaries can rob us of person revelation. If we have other people's thoughts floating around in our brains it can crowd out the words coming from above.
* He talked to many people about the atonement and learned that you don't have to be a theologian to have insights about the atonement.
* Insights come line upon line if we stick with it. We need to pay the price, do our homework and the answers and help will come.
* He spoke about the experience Joseph Smith had after his baptism. This is from Joseph Smith's history
http://lds.org/scriptures/pgp/js-h/1.68-72?lang=eng#67
74 Our minds being now enlightened, we began to have the ^ascriptures laid open to our understandings, and the ^btrue meaning and intention of their more ^cmysterious passages revealed unto us in a manner which we never could attain to previously, nor ever before had thought of.
* Dallin H. Oaks made the comment to Elder Callister that he always prays before eating so he should also pray before feeding his soul.
* Scriptures have their own language. The Holy Ghost is the interpreter.
Some of the biggest revelations he had while writing-
* The worst consequence of sin is separation from God. Jesus never sinned so He didn't experience this separation until He was on the cross. Matthew 27: 46 "And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, ^aMy God, my God, why hast thou ^bforsaken me?"
* He went over Doctrine and Covenants 84 that discussed the purposes of ordinances and how they relate to the atonement.
* The gifts of the spirit are attributes of God. Doctrine and Covenants 46
* The divinity of Jesus Christ enabled Him to suffer all and thus succor all. Our release is death or unconsciousness. Perhaps His divinity allowed Him a greater capacity to allow Him to perform the atonement.

Feeling the love

I have been needing to feel love from my Father in Heaven. I asked myself what the greatest act of love was-the atonement. I read this talk and found a few things in it that helped. I also discovered my new favorite chapter of scripture-Romans 8. I won't be expounding on them, just listing the portions that stand out to me. Enjoy :)

From Elder Ballard-
* " . . . we are all the spirit sons and daughters of a loving God who is our Father. We are part of His family. He is not a father in some allegorical or poetic sense. He is literally the Father of our spirits. He cares for each one of us. Though this world has a way of diminishing and demeaning men and women, the reality is we are all of royal, divine lineage."
* " . . . only as we accept the Atonement in our lives and strive to live the gospel can we meet the challenges of life and find peace, joy, and happiness. Coming to understand this great gift is an individual pursuit for each child of God."
* "Brothers and sisters, our Heavenly Father has reached out to us through the Atonement of our Savior."
* "Fathers, mothers, and missionaries “play” before very small audiences. Yet, in the eyes of the Lord, there may be only one size of audience that is of lasting importance—and that is just one, each one, you and me, and each one of the children of God. The irony of the Atonement is that it is infinite and eternal, yet it is applied individually, one person at a time."


Romans 8

16 The Spirit itself beareth ^awitness with our ^bspirit, that we are the ^cchildren of God:

17 And if children, then heirs; ^aheirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we ^bsuffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.

18 For I reckon that the ^asufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the ^bglory which shall be revealed ^cin us.

24 For we are saved by ^ahope: but hope that is ^bseen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for?

25 But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.

26 Likewise the Spirit also ^ahelpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should ^bpray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh ^cintercession for us with ^dgroanings which cannot be uttered.

27 And he that ^asearcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh ^bintercession for the saints according to the will of God.

28 And we know that all things work together for ^agood to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

29 ^aFor whom he did ^bforeknow, he also ^cdid predestinate ^dto be conformed to the ^eimage of his Son, that he might be the ^ffirstborn among many brethren.

30 Moreover whom he ^adid predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.

31 What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can ^abe against us?

32 He that spared not his own ^aSon, but ^bdelivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us ^call things?

33 Who shall ^alay any thing to the charge of God’s elect? It is God that justifieth.

34 Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh ^aintercession for us.

35 Who shall separate us from the ^alove of Christ? shall ^btribulation, or distress, or ^cpersecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

36 As it is written, For thy sake we are ^akilled all the day long; we are accounted as ^bsheep for the slaughter.

37 Nay, in all these things we are ^amore than ^bconquerors through him that loved us.

38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to ^aseparate us from the ^blove of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Blinders

Before getting to the "meat" of this post I wanted to put another plug in for guest authors. I would love to have some different authors to give us new insights. My one request is to have the content come from the scriptures. Please send in your thoughts; I am anxious to read them! Okay, onto the "meat"-

I apologize for the slow motion of my brain, but I have still been thinking about Martha and I got my answer from the past (sorry if that's corny). Last week my mom gave a talk in church. She found an old talk given by my great grandmother who died roughly sixty years ago.

" . . . A mother with so many problems is more or less like a work horse with blinders on her bridle to keep her looking ahead. Ahead I could see dishes, beds, scrubbing, washing, ironing and always getting clothes ready for Sunday wear for 7 and when shift work permitted, 8 people. I have always felt that the Lord wasn't near as interested in the patched shoe as he was in the souls of my family."




photo from Wikimedia

What a profound statement about the soles vs souls! I think it is a beautiful sentence. On a quick side note, how grateful I am to have such wonderful ancestors, who continue to bless and teach me decades later. I think she is a "real" woman for lack of a better word. She dealt with the same kinds of issues as I do, but with more difficulty. She raised six boys in rural Utah with a husband who was out working much of the time and without many of the modern conveniences we take for granted.

Okay, I'm bringing it all together now I promise!! The answer is the blinders. Martha was wearing blinders when we first meet her. When we see her after her brother's death the blinders have come off. And lastly we see her serving again, but with her testimony the focus
rather than the "dishes, beds, scrubbing . . ." etc.

I think our blinders come from being mortal, not really from poor choices on our part. However, I think it is our choice to keep the blinders on. It takes courage to remove those blinders. What if I don't like what I see? What if I get startled and confused? Well, you probably will. But in the long run it is better to learn to adjust with them off rather than miss all of the rich, uplifting experiences to be seen with them off.

Circumstances in our lives are the catalyst for removing the blinders. God will not take them off for us, but He will help us as we do. Some of us have difficult circumstances that essentially rip the blinders off. Some of us peek out and then put them back on. I am peeking. I want to take them off, but I am afraid of the unknown. I hate to admit this, but I don't have enough faith or courage to take them off. I pray that the desire will come and I will reach that higher plane and be closer to my Father.

There are many scriptures that use the word "awake." I believe this is the call to take the blinders off. I will end with the prophet Nephi in one of my favorite chapters of scripture (specifically verse 15 to the end of the chapter). I feel my soul connecting with Nephi and his struggles. He was able to awake and I am ending with a hopeful determination that I will get my blinders off-

2 Nephi 4:27-28

27 And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?

28 Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.

When I grow up

I want to be like Martha.

(photo from lds.org)

We first see Martha in Luke 10
38 ¶Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.

39 And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word.

40 But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.

41 And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:

I know how Martha feels. There have been times when I have been "cumbered about much serving" and frustrated that I'm not getting enough help or things aren't going as well as I would like. I always felt like Martha got a bad wrap until I actually read her whole story and saw the rest of her story.

The next time we see her is John 11. Her brother Lazarus has died and the Savior comes to Bethany, where they lived. Martha ran out to see Him and bears a beautiful testimony of Him.

20 Then Martha, as soon as she heard that Jesus was coming, went and met him: but Mary sat still in the house.

21 Then said Martha unto Jesus, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.

22 But I know, that even now, whatsoever thou wilt ask of God, God will give it thee.

23 Jesus saith unto her, Thy brother shall rise again.

24 Martha saith unto him, I know that he shall rise again in the resurrection at the last day.

25 Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:

26 And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?

27 She saith unto him, Yea, Lord: I believe that thou art the Christ, the Son of God, which should come into the world.

Although she didn't fully understand what the Savior was teaching, she bore a beautiful testimony. She had such amazing faith and believed that He could do anything.

We see Martha one more time in John 12
2 There they made him a supper; and ^aMartha served: but Lazarus was one of them that sat at the table with him.

Here Martha is serving again, but she was not the same woman found in the previous chapter. The change that took place is fascinating to me. She truly took the Savior's counsel to heart and her focus changed. She was still serving, but look at how her testimony had grown. I have been pondering what is unwritten. How exactly did Martha still accomplish her earthly duties while still focusing on things of great importance? Had I been in her shoes and my brother had died, would I have believed the Savior when He said He could bring him back to life? I hope I would have.

I did some searching on Martha and what others said of her. This comment from Elaine L. Jack was the most poignant. "Focusing on our eternal purposes can ease our burdens and make our lives happy and more productive. Indeed, we often can do less and have it mean more."

Right now I am the Martha we first see; I need to work on becoming the Martha who testifies of the Savior and has her priorities correctly aligned. Now I need to figure out how to make it happen. Any suggestions or things that have worked for you?

Laundry Lessons

I have had to do a lot of extra laundry this week (sick kiddos :( ). It started me thinking about stains. Some stains come out without much effort while some take great effort and others I can't get out at all. I have tried lots of different cleaning aids because water alone can't do it. Some live up to their claims and others fall short. If I clean the stain as soon as possible I have much better success than if I leave it until laundry day. The longer the stain sits the harder it is to get out.

Isaiah 1:16 and 18

16Wash you, make you ^bclean; put away the ^cevil of your doings from before mine eyes; ^dcease to do evil;

18Come now, and let us ^areason together, saith the Lord: though your ^bsins be as scarlet, they shall be as ^cwhite as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.

Cleaning takes work. Sometimes I have this block in my mind and I think "oh that will come out, it's not that big of a deal." I believe the easy way will be all that is needed. And sometimes it does work, but it is a gamble that I shouldn't take with laundry or with my spiritual standing.

Through the atonement of Jesus Christ all may become clean even though the sin may be scarlet it will be white like the snow. Can I just sit by and expect to be clean? Of course not. He is the solution, but it is my job to apply it. If I leave my sins they become harder to get out, but even then, He is all powerful. There is no stain He cannot remove. What an incredible blessing! I am not worthy of such a gift, but how much I need Him! Although it can be uncomfortable and embarrassing my stains should draw me to Him.

I love the phrase "Come now, and let us reason together." Come now-don't wait until the sin causes more damage and work than is necessary. Let us reason together-we will work it out. I have a beautiful image in my mind of sitting on a comfy couch with my Lord who is full of love for me, sorting through all my problems and coming up with a plan. But I need to take the first step and "come."

The goal is to avoid stains from the very beginning-"cease to do evil", but when I do, all is not lost. Even when I feel I am so dirty, somewhere in my mind I know that there is a way. He is the way.

The next time you are doing your laundry, take some time to think of stains that need to be cleaned off your spiritual self and rejoice that you know of a way to get them out and it will work all of the time on every kind of stain.

I know not

I'm sorry for the long absence; time has completely gotten away from me.

I have been pondering over this scripture in Moses-
5:6 And after many days an angel of the Lord appeared unto Adam, saying: Why dost thou offer sacrifices unto the Lord? And Adam said unto him: I know not, save the Lord commanded me.

I have felt like this lately, especially regarding our move. I feel that with having our house in Colorado we are stuck in a kind of limbo. If I think about it I stress too much. However, I do know that we were commanded to move. It will work out eventually; I have faith that it will. So I don't know how things will play out, but I know the Lord commanded me.

Along these lines the principle of "line upon line" has also been very relevant. I can not see all of the plan. He will reveal it to me as I keep progressing. All I can do is continue putting one foot in front of the other.