New Year

I am always evaluating my life and trying to become better so setting goals at the new year isn't something unique for me.  I do however, like to use it as a time to focus and reflect on the big picture.  President Uchtdorf's talk will be my guide to the year.  If I can minimize my regrets it will help me on the path to who I can ultimately become.

Tomorrow for family home evening I'm going to "pitch my ideas" to my children who will probably be very underwhelmed, but a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do.

The question "what can I do now?" has been coming out of my son's mouth between 6-12 times a day.  What he really wants me to do is tell him it's okay to do something electronically, which I have been cutting back on.  We are going to talk about some things we can do now.

Learn-we can choose a topic (turtles, Antarctica, Jupiter, etc) and research it.  Conduct science experiments.  Pick a picture from gospel art kit and learn the story.  Choose someone on our family tree and learn about their life.
Sing-I am so lucky to have a piano in our home now.  I have missed it.  We can learn new songs or dance and wiggle to old favorites.
Work-this is definitely my least favorite, which is why I need to do better at it.  I want to find the joy in a job well done and help the kids feel it too.
Create-build using straws, legos or cushions and blankets; make a picture to send to someone we love.  Write a story.
Serve-think of a way we can help someone.
Enjoy-this beautiful earth we live in, our family and friends, childhood
Exercise-make this one fun!
Play-board games, silly made up games.

This list is just a starting place for us, the possibilities are endless.  Even if it only works half the time, that is still heading in the right direction.
I'm looking forward to studying the Doctrine and Covenants this year.  A couple of weeks ago we read in section 25 which is one of my favorites.  Verse 10 says "And verily I say unto thee that thou shalt lay aside the things of this world, and seek for the things of a better." 
I am hopeful that my filling our time with good activities we will be tasting the "better"; that we will lay up treasures in heaven and grow closer as a family.

I pray that this year, it's joys and trials, will bring each of us closer to our Savior.

What's been in my brain

So the lesson I gave on Sunday was my worst to date :(  Rather than relive it I'm going to share two talks that I have been thinking about a lot lately.

lds.org

President Uchtdorf gave a message in the last conference and I seriously thought he had opened up my brain to see what was in there and wrote this talk to help me.

Sorry this is a long quote, but it is wonderful!

"Isn’t it true that we often get so busy? And, sad to say, we even wear our busyness as a badge of honor, as though being busy, by itself, was an accomplishment or sign of a superior life.

Is it?

I shared this message with a cute sister that I visit teach and told her that if she ever needs anything she can let me know.  If I am too busy to help her, than I am doing something wrong.  Serving her and fulfilling my role should be at the top of my priority list and if it isn't, it needs to change asap.

I think of our Lord and Exemplar, Jesus Christ, and His short life among the people of Galilee and Jerusalem. I have tried to imagine Him bustling between meetings or multitasking to get a list of urgent things accomplished.

I can’t see it.

Instead I see the compassionate and caring Son of God purposefully living each day. When He interacted with those around Him, they felt important and loved. He knew the infinite value of the people He met. He blessed them, ministered to them. He lifted them up, healed them. He gave them the precious gift of His time.

In our day it is easy to merely pretend to spend time with others. With the click of a mouse, we can “connect” with thousands of “friends” without ever having to face a single one of them. Technology can be a wonderful thing, and it is very useful when we cannot be near our loved ones. My wife and I live far away from precious family members; we know how that is. However, I believe that we are not headed in the right direction, individually and as a society, when we connect with family or friends mostly by reposting humorous pictures, forwarding trivial things, or linking our loved ones to sites on the Internet. I suppose there is a place for this kind of activity, but how much time are we willing to spend on it? If we fail to give our best personal self and undivided time to those who are truly important to us, one day we will regret it."

Our relief society teacher shared an experience when she was out with her grandkids at a museum and noticed that six of the seven adults in the kids play area were on their phones.  Only one was actually engaged with their children.  I am so guilty of this!  So I made some goals to work on this.  For example, today at Lego Club I didn't get my phone out at all.  I recently pinned a quote that says "Wherever you are be all there" by Jim Elliott.

"We certainly cannot do this (laying up for ourselves treasures in heaven) with a dragging-our-feet, staring-at-our-watch, complaining-as-we-go approach to discipleship.

When it comes to living the gospel, we should not be like the boy who dipped his toe in the water and then claimed he went swimming. As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we are capable of so much more. For that, good intentions are not enough. We must do. Even more important, we must become what Heavenly Father wants us to be.

Declaring our testimony of the gospel is good, but being a living example of the restored gospel is better. Wishing to be more faithful to our covenants is good; actually being faithful to sacred covenants—including living a virtuous life, paying our tithes and offerings, keeping the Word of Wisdom, and serving those in need—is much better. Announcing that we will dedicate more time for family prayer, scripture study, and wholesome family activities is good; but actually doing all these things steadily will bring heavenly blessings to our lives.

Discipleship is the pursuit of holiness and happiness. It is the path to our best and happiest self."

I have felt this nagging tug that I am not living up to my potential.  Thinking about being an invested mother is good, actually spending time with my kids is better.  Dreaming of a clean kitchen is good, actually cleaning it is better.  While I am a long way off from this, there is a peace that comes from knowing that good choices are helping me become the woman God knows I can be, even when I am still trying to figure out what she is really like.  Memories of that peace help me resist temptation, which I hope if I do often enough will become habits.

"As we do so, Heavenly Father will reveal to us things we never knew about ourselves. He will illuminate the path ahead and open our eyes to see our unknown and perhaps unimagined talents."

What beautiful possibilities!  If I want this I need to be willing to work and not 'staring-at-[my]-watch' and complaining.

"We shouldn’t wait to be happy until we reach some future point, only to discover that happiness was already available—all the time! Life is not meant to be appreciated only in retrospect. “This is the day which the Lord hath made … ,” the Psalmist wrote. “Rejoice and be glad in it.”^6" 

^{I shouldn't wait until our house is sold (which it finally is!!!) to be happy, or until the hubby is done with grad school, or until anything else.  Happiness is a choice and I need to choose it.  Of course there are days when happiness isn't even in the picture, just making it to bedtime without losing my temper is my only priority.  But I don't want to waste too many days to that.  Sometimes I pray for an extra amount of God's love for my children when I seem to be out.  I pray to remember that it is a phase and while it is difficult I am not alone and I am in it for the long haul.  Quitting is not an option so I may as well look on the bright side.}

^{This talk is really life changing for me; I hope you will take the time to read the whole thing.}

^{The other talk I have been thinking about, especially in regards to how I want to manage our family is "Mother's Who Know" by Sister Beck.  I'm not going to discuss it, but I encourage you to read or reread it if it has been a while.  It is powerful and gives me the courage to make the hard choices; the ones that will keep my family strong.} 

^{I pray that this holiday season is a meaningful one for each of us and that we will focus on having Christ in Christmas.}

Coming to Ourselves

 Robert D. Hales

My relief society lesson a couple of weeks ago was on the talk Coming to Ourselves by Elder Hales.  My love for apostles/modern revelation/general conference has been growing since I got this calling.

I put together a "top 10" list from this talk.  When my husband asked me if there were any jokes in it, I told him no and he lost interest . . . . so if you're still interested, here they are.

10.  Purpose of self reliance
"The purpose of both temporal and spiritual self-reliance is to get ourselves on higher ground so that we can lift others in need."

9.  Provide opportunities for others, including youth and children.
"All of us have an “imperative duty”¹¹ to assist our youth in preparing for lifelong service by helping them become self-reliant. In addition to the spiritual self-reliance we have been discussing, there is temporal self-reliance, which includes getting a post secondary education or vocational training, learning to work, and living within our means. By avoiding debt and saving money now, we are prepared for full-time Church service in the years to come. . . . Whether we are young or old, what we do today determines the service we will be able to render and enjoy tomorrow."

I especially liked that last sentence and the perspective that gives.  Rather than thinking of each day as it's own separate entity, think of it as being connected to tomorrow.  It gives more meaning and emphasis on the choices we make today.

"Parents and leaders, you can help youth experience the incomparable blessings of the sacrament by providing special opportunities for them to study, discuss, and discover the relevance of the Atonement in their lives. Let them search the scriptures for themselves and teach one another from their own experiences."

We had a good discussion about ways we can do this.  I think it is best to do it in small conversations and moments.  I really like how he says "discover", because it really is something each person needs to do for themselves.

8.  Sacrifice
"I testify that the sacrifices we make to receive temple ordinances are worth every effort we can make."
Simple and powerful.  There are always reasons to not go to the temple, but in the end we are missing out if we are not taking advantage of the temple.

I came across the following quote a couple of months ago and it has had a profound impact on the way I view things.  President Hinckley said "You will come to know that what appears today to be a sacrifice will prove instead to be the greatest investment that you will ever make."

7.  Coming to yourself
He begins and ends his message with the parable of the prodigal son.

"Away from home, far from the place he wanted to be, and in his destitute condition, something of eternal significance happened in the life of this young man. In the Savior’s words, “he came to himself.”¹ He remembered who he was, realized what he had been missing, and began to desire the blessings freely available in his father’s house.

Throughout our lives, whether in times of darkness, challenge, sorrow, or sin, we may feel the Holy Ghost reminding us that we are truly sons and daughters of a caring Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we may hunger for the sacred blessings that only He can provide. At these times we should strive to come to ourselves and come back into the light of our Savior’s love."

Each of us will have times in our lives when we are feeling down and causes us to come to ourselves.  I think the choices we make at these times have very far reaching effects.

6.  Prepare for the sacrament before sacrament meeting

 "To worthily partake of the sacrament, we remember that we are renewing the covenant we made at baptism. For the sacrament to be a spiritually cleansing experience each week, we need to prepare ourselves before coming to sacrament meeting. We do this by deliberately leaving behind our daily work and recreation and letting go of worldly thoughts and concerns. As we do, we make room in our minds and hearts for the Holy Ghost.

Then we are prepared to ponder on the Atonement. More than just thinking about the facts of the Savior’s suffering and death, our pondering helps us to recognize that through the Savior’s sacrifice, we have the hope, opportunity, and strength to make real, heartfelt changes in our lives."

With small children, sacrament meetings are not always the most spiritual meetings one would wish them to be.  I have found that the weeks I take time to prepare before, usually Saturday evening, I am able to have a much more meaningful experience.

5.  Establishing patterns

 " . . .we establish patterns of Christlike living. These include obedience, making sacrifices to keep the commandments, loving one another, being chaste in thought and action, and giving of ourselves to build the kingdom of God."

4.  Power from the temple

"Through the Savior’s Atonement and by following these basic patterns of faithfulness, we receive “power from on high”⁹ to face the challenges of life. We need this divine power today more than ever. It is power we receive only through temple ordinances."

This was one of the most powerful lessons written on my heart.  I truly felt a longing to go to the temple because I need that divine power so desperately.  

3.  Evaluate then work

 "With His love and the love of His Son in my heart, I challenge each of us to follow our spiritual desires and come to ourselves. Let’s have a talk with ourselves in the mirror and ask, “Where do I stand on living my covenants?” We are on the right path when we can say, “I worthily partake of the sacrament each week, I am worthy to hold a temple recommend and go to the temple, and I sacrifice to serve and bless others.” "

Take the time to ask those hard questions then be willing to do the work required.  Help will be given.

2.  Striving

He uses the words-hunger, strive, deliberate, steadily, steadfastly-words that imply great effort and desire.

In my temple recommend interview a few months ago, Pres. Morris and I talked about the word strive.  It doesn't say we need to be perfect, but we need to be striving.  Striving involves emotional, spiritual and physical work.

1.  Father is waiting

Returning to the parable-

"Beloved brothers and sisters, the young man spoken about by the Savior, the one we refer to as the prodigal son, did come home. His father had not forgotten him; his father was waiting. And “when [the son] was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and … kissed him.”¹³ In honor of his son’s return, he called for a robe, a ring, and a celebration with a fatted calf¹⁴—reminders that no blessings will be withheld if we faithfully endure in walking the path back to our Heavenly Father. . . .

I share my special witness that God so loves each one of us “that he gave his only begotten Son”¹⁵ to atone for our sins. He knows us and waits for us, even when we are a great way off. As we act on our desires and come to ourselves, we will be “encircled about eternally in the arms of his love”¹⁶ and welcomed home."

What a beautiful image and message!  

If you made it through all 10 thanks for sticking with it!  I hope the spirit was able to teach you something that will help you this week.

 

Precision vs Perfection

 Julie B. Beck

I love Sister Beck! I will miss her as the relief society president. She spoke at a broadcast a few years ago about the Doctrine of the Family. (For some reason it is not in the online church archives, but I found another blogger who posted a copy here.) Her words are very powerful, particularly the following-"Live in your home so that you're brilliant in the basics, so that you're intentional about your roles and responsibilities in the family. You think in terms of precision, not perfection." Perfection is overwhelming, but precision I can do!

Here are a few ways I am trying to be more precise at home.
1. Teaching the gospel in the home. I have recommitted to family home evenings. We got out of the habit and while it is difficult for me to be in charge all the time with my husband being gone so much it is worth it. I keep it simple and short, just using ideas in books handed down to me.
2. We have this half sized wall that our kitchen table is next to. I can't really hang decorations on it so I have been selecting pictures from the gospel art kit and finding scriptures to go with them. We are memorizing the scriptures together and my son is surprisingly fast at it.  Richard G. Scott recently spoke on the blessings of committing scriptures to memory.  "Learning, pondering, searching, and memorizing scriptures is like filling a filing cabinet with friends, values, and truths that can be called upon anytime, anywhere in the world. Great power can come from memorizing scriptures. To memorize a scripture is to forge a new friendship. It is like discovering a new individual who can help in time of need, give inspiration and comfort, and be a source of motivation for needed change."
3. I am working on memorizing the the family proclamation. I wrote each paragraph on an index card for convenience.  I need to write these words in my heart so I can teach them to others.
4. Sister Beck has come up twice recently in my life in reference to priorities. Once was in this blog post. The second was in stake conference. Some of the ideas are the same, but these are my notes from conference.
What is my ultimate objective? I had to consider what it is and what it should be. Usually my daily objective is to make it to bedtime with as few tantrums as possible. It should be bringing souls to Christ, starting with myself and my family.
Do my daily actions reflect my ultimate objective?
What matters most? President Uchtdorf gave a wonderful talk about that.
To-do list should be divided into essential, necessary and nice to do.
Choose joy.
Pray always.

It will take some time for these principles to become second nature, but I have faith that as long as I keep trying I won't fail. Precision is possible!

Approaching perfection

I had been struggling.  I was trying to find the source of the uneasy feeling in my gut.  As I went through my mental checklist I remembered I had not studied my scriptures that day.  It was only lunch time (still plenty of hours to get my scriptures in), but I pulled them out.  Repeat this process for three days.  I'm a slow learner!  It finally occurs to me that I had been doing really well studying before the kids got up and now I wasn't.  Can it make that much of a difference? I wondered.  The thought comes-you are starving your spirit.  She got used to feasting in the morning.  When I stopped feeding her, she got grumpy.  Can you blame her?  She was hungry!  How strange that I had reached a point where it was no longer enough to just get it done, but the timing of it had become important too.

Most of you know that I am very slow to praise myself, even when I may deserve it.  However, I gave myself a little pat on the back for this one!  As I pondered, more insight came.  In 2 Nephi 4, commonly known as Nephi's Psalm, Nephi shares some very personal feelings.  I was confused at why such a great prophet would cry out "O wretched man that I am!"  Joseph Smith said "The nearer man approaches perfection, the clearer are his views, and the greater his enjoyments, till he has overcome the evils of his life and lost every desire for sin; and like the ancients, arrives at that point of faith where he is wrapped in the power and glory of his Maker and is caught up to dwell with Him."  

Having "clearer views" is hard!!  It is uncomfortable and scary.  Part of me shies away from the work required.  Yet I am blessed with greater enjoyments along the way.  Logically, it seems easy, but when I'm down in the trenches becomes difficult. 

Elder Tad Callister summed it up beautifully- "The more spiritual an individual becomes, the more sensitive he becomes to his imperfections."  As unnatural as it seems, our imperfections should draw us to Christ.  This is a concept I have not fully grasped.  My natural tendency is to feel a responsibility for the messes I make.  I am slowly coming to understand that my Savior is my partner.  He is there to help with the mess.  It is not awkward for Him because He can see past it.  His love enables Him to focus on me and my potential.  He is proud of my efforts, however feeble they may be.  Asking for help with my imperfections does not show weakness on my part.  It shows faith and trust which is hard work.  It is the only way back Home.

As I make my small steps to perfection, I will loose the desire to sin making it possible for me to dwell with Him.  I pray that while we are in the trenches our hearts will long to be "wrapped in the power and glory of [our] Maker and [be] caught up to dwell with Him."  This is the desire of our spirits and with His help we will make it!

I love America!

I made a goal a few years go to read a book every year about American history around Independence Day.  This year I read "Being George Washington" and "Unbroken".  While "Unbroken" was a more powerful and better written book, in my opinion, both books left me in awe of how much has been sacrificed in my behalf.  When I read about the Revolutionary War I always have a spiritual experience because of the role "The Invisible Hand" (as George Washington often referred to God) played in the founding of this country.

I was and am speechless at how much Louis Zamperini paid in his life for the freedoms I enjoy.  Even more mind boggling is that his is only one story of many.  At the final POW camp he was in there were more than 700 prisoners.  They all have stories and sacrifices that are just as honorable and praiseworthy.

July is also a month where my mind naturally turns to my own heritage.  My father's birthday is July 4th.  I love being able to celebrate this great man along with many other men who serve in varied ways.  What a great example and inspiration they are to me; they motivate me to be better.

July 3, 2003 was the day my grandfather passed away.  He was a military man who lived his ideals his entire life.  He paved the way for a posterity who miss and revere him.   

Also near to my heart is my dad's brothers who are overseas.  I only have a picture of Lew (sorry Uncle Glen!).  Both of them are never far from our thoughts and prayers.

These are our good friends, Sean and Ashley.  Sean is in the army, stationed in El Paso.  He will probably be deployed early next year (Ash, correct me if I'm wrong).  Each soldier should have a "fan base", if you will, to support them.  They are the real heroes and deserve our very best as they give theirs.

Slightly off topic here, but has anyone read any good books about the civil war?  I am very lacking in that area.  I read a book about Mary Todd Lincoln quite a few years ago and have always admired President Lincoln.  Please leave me a comment if you know of a book, thanks!

I am grateful beyond words for the many lives that have been given and innumerable years of service rendered on and off the battlefield.  While it is a small offering in comparison, I will do my best to be an active citizen of this nation and hold dear all those who sacrifice so much.  Thank you for giving me a safe place where Independence Day allows me to celebrate Christmas and Easter in freedom.  Thank you for your priceless gift!

I am enough.

So I don't know if I will get around to that second balance post I had promised.  You can tell I am definitely not an expert in that area.  Life is crazy busy, but the funny/ironic thing about it is I am feeling more balanced.  Some things have changed in my day to day life and that is good.  I feel that overall I am getting much more done . . . . I expect eventually I will be able to incorporate my blogging into it as well.

Almost a year ago I was feeling rather inadequate, especially in my role as a mother.  I was at a soccer game and Little Miss was playing in the sand in the volleyball court.  In that quick moment I had the impression that I am supposed to be her mother.  There is something about me that makes us a good match and I will be able to take care of her.

Back in March we had a stake relief society birthday celebration.  I think I had only been to church twice, didn't know very many people.  As I was sitting there listening to the program, in this big group of people and feeling all alone the words came very clearly into my mind- "You are enough."

I am obviously not perfect (refer to paragraph 1), but I am finally learning and accepting that I can still fulfill my role and reach my potential without being perfect.

This is a quaking aspen in our backyard. Our neighbors told us that it was struck by lightning some years ago. I have thought about this tree and it's value and compared it to myself. I think we all believe that in some way or another we have been struck by lightning (and since I am such a crazy Jane Eyre fan I love this idea).

One day when we were out back my hubby snapped this photo of a wood pecker in our imperfect tree.  Did the bird care that the tree was struck by lightning?  No.  From that angle you can't even tell what damage the tree has received.  The imperfections are not getting in the way.  The tree is providing shade and a sanctuary for the birds.  It is still of value and worth.

For those who may be struggling with feelings of inadequacy, I hope you will believe me when I say that you are enough.  It is because of God's power and love.  Through Him we are enough.