Precision vs Perfection

 Julie B. Beck

I love Sister Beck! I will miss her as the relief society president. She spoke at a broadcast a few years ago about the Doctrine of the Family. (For some reason it is not in the online church archives, but I found another blogger who posted a copy here.) Her words are very powerful, particularly the following-"Live in your home so that you're brilliant in the basics, so that you're intentional about your roles and responsibilities in the family. You think in terms of precision, not perfection." Perfection is overwhelming, but precision I can do!

Here are a few ways I am trying to be more precise at home.
1. Teaching the gospel in the home. I have recommitted to family home evenings. We got out of the habit and while it is difficult for me to be in charge all the time with my husband being gone so much it is worth it. I keep it simple and short, just using ideas in books handed down to me.
2. We have this half sized wall that our kitchen table is next to. I can't really hang decorations on it so I have been selecting pictures from the gospel art kit and finding scriptures to go with them. We are memorizing the scriptures together and my son is surprisingly fast at it.  Richard G. Scott recently spoke on the blessings of committing scriptures to memory.  "Learning, pondering, searching, and memorizing scriptures is like filling a filing cabinet with friends, values, and truths that can be called upon anytime, anywhere in the world. Great power can come from memorizing scriptures. To memorize a scripture is to forge a new friendship. It is like discovering a new individual who can help in time of need, give inspiration and comfort, and be a source of motivation for needed change."
3. I am working on memorizing the the family proclamation. I wrote each paragraph on an index card for convenience.  I need to write these words in my heart so I can teach them to others.
4. Sister Beck has come up twice recently in my life in reference to priorities. Once was in this blog post. The second was in stake conference. Some of the ideas are the same, but these are my notes from conference.
What is my ultimate objective? I had to consider what it is and what it should be. Usually my daily objective is to make it to bedtime with as few tantrums as possible. It should be bringing souls to Christ, starting with myself and my family.
Do my daily actions reflect my ultimate objective?
What matters most? President Uchtdorf gave a wonderful talk about that.
To-do list should be divided into essential, necessary and nice to do.
Choose joy.
Pray always.

It will take some time for these principles to become second nature, but I have faith that as long as I keep trying I won't fail. Precision is possible!

Approaching perfection

I had been struggling.  I was trying to find the source of the uneasy feeling in my gut.  As I went through my mental checklist I remembered I had not studied my scriptures that day.  It was only lunch time (still plenty of hours to get my scriptures in), but I pulled them out.  Repeat this process for three days.  I'm a slow learner!  It finally occurs to me that I had been doing really well studying before the kids got up and now I wasn't.  Can it make that much of a difference? I wondered.  The thought comes-you are starving your spirit.  She got used to feasting in the morning.  When I stopped feeding her, she got grumpy.  Can you blame her?  She was hungry!  How strange that I had reached a point where it was no longer enough to just get it done, but the timing of it had become important too.

Most of you know that I am very slow to praise myself, even when I may deserve it.  However, I gave myself a little pat on the back for this one!  As I pondered, more insight came.  In 2 Nephi 4, commonly known as Nephi's Psalm, Nephi shares some very personal feelings.  I was confused at why such a great prophet would cry out "O wretched man that I am!"  Joseph Smith said "The nearer man approaches perfection, the clearer are his views, and the greater his enjoyments, till he has overcome the evils of his life and lost every desire for sin; and like the ancients, arrives at that point of faith where he is wrapped in the power and glory of his Maker and is caught up to dwell with Him."  

Having "clearer views" is hard!!  It is uncomfortable and scary.  Part of me shies away from the work required.  Yet I am blessed with greater enjoyments along the way.  Logically, it seems easy, but when I'm down in the trenches becomes difficult. 

Elder Tad Callister summed it up beautifully- "The more spiritual an individual becomes, the more sensitive he becomes to his imperfections."  As unnatural as it seems, our imperfections should draw us to Christ.  This is a concept I have not fully grasped.  My natural tendency is to feel a responsibility for the messes I make.  I am slowly coming to understand that my Savior is my partner.  He is there to help with the mess.  It is not awkward for Him because He can see past it.  His love enables Him to focus on me and my potential.  He is proud of my efforts, however feeble they may be.  Asking for help with my imperfections does not show weakness on my part.  It shows faith and trust which is hard work.  It is the only way back Home.

As I make my small steps to perfection, I will loose the desire to sin making it possible for me to dwell with Him.  I pray that while we are in the trenches our hearts will long to be "wrapped in the power and glory of [our] Maker and [be] caught up to dwell with Him."  This is the desire of our spirits and with His help we will make it!

I love America!

I made a goal a few years go to read a book every year about American history around Independence Day.  This year I read "Being George Washington" and "Unbroken".  While "Unbroken" was a more powerful and better written book, in my opinion, both books left me in awe of how much has been sacrificed in my behalf.  When I read about the Revolutionary War I always have a spiritual experience because of the role "The Invisible Hand" (as George Washington often referred to God) played in the founding of this country.

I was and am speechless at how much Louis Zamperini paid in his life for the freedoms I enjoy.  Even more mind boggling is that his is only one story of many.  At the final POW camp he was in there were more than 700 prisoners.  They all have stories and sacrifices that are just as honorable and praiseworthy.

July is also a month where my mind naturally turns to my own heritage.  My father's birthday is July 4th.  I love being able to celebrate this great man along with many other men who serve in varied ways.  What a great example and inspiration they are to me; they motivate me to be better.

July 3, 2003 was the day my grandfather passed away.  He was a military man who lived his ideals his entire life.  He paved the way for a posterity who miss and revere him.   

Also near to my heart is my dad's brothers who are overseas.  I only have a picture of Lew (sorry Uncle Glen!).  Both of them are never far from our thoughts and prayers.

These are our good friends, Sean and Ashley.  Sean is in the army, stationed in El Paso.  He will probably be deployed early next year (Ash, correct me if I'm wrong).  Each soldier should have a "fan base", if you will, to support them.  They are the real heroes and deserve our very best as they give theirs.

Slightly off topic here, but has anyone read any good books about the civil war?  I am very lacking in that area.  I read a book about Mary Todd Lincoln quite a few years ago and have always admired President Lincoln.  Please leave me a comment if you know of a book, thanks!

I am grateful beyond words for the many lives that have been given and innumerable years of service rendered on and off the battlefield.  While it is a small offering in comparison, I will do my best to be an active citizen of this nation and hold dear all those who sacrifice so much.  Thank you for giving me a safe place where Independence Day allows me to celebrate Christmas and Easter in freedom.  Thank you for your priceless gift!

I am enough.

So I don't know if I will get around to that second balance post I had promised.  You can tell I am definitely not an expert in that area.  Life is crazy busy, but the funny/ironic thing about it is I am feeling more balanced.  Some things have changed in my day to day life and that is good.  I feel that overall I am getting much more done . . . . I expect eventually I will be able to incorporate my blogging into it as well.

Almost a year ago I was feeling rather inadequate, especially in my role as a mother.  I was at a soccer game and Little Miss was playing in the sand in the volleyball court.  In that quick moment I had the impression that I am supposed to be her mother.  There is something about me that makes us a good match and I will be able to take care of her.

Back in March we had a stake relief society birthday celebration.  I think I had only been to church twice, didn't know very many people.  As I was sitting there listening to the program, in this big group of people and feeling all alone the words came very clearly into my mind- "You are enough."

I am obviously not perfect (refer to paragraph 1), but I am finally learning and accepting that I can still fulfill my role and reach my potential without being perfect.

This is a quaking aspen in our backyard. Our neighbors told us that it was struck by lightning some years ago. I have thought about this tree and it's value and compared it to myself. I think we all believe that in some way or another we have been struck by lightning (and since I am such a crazy Jane Eyre fan I love this idea).

One day when we were out back my hubby snapped this photo of a wood pecker in our imperfect tree.  Did the bird care that the tree was struck by lightning?  No.  From that angle you can't even tell what damage the tree has received.  The imperfections are not getting in the way.  The tree is providing shade and a sanctuary for the birds.  It is still of value and worth.

For those who may be struggling with feelings of inadequacy, I hope you will believe me when I say that you are enough.  It is because of God's power and love.  Through Him we are enough.

Delay

I haven't been able to get Balance 101 part 2 up yet because last Sunday I was asked to give the relief society lesson on this Sunday. I've never given a lesson to grown ups and I'm kind of nervous. And I don't know hardly anyone's names as this will be my second time attending relief society in this ward. I was really surprised they asked me, but didn't think I had a very good reason to say no. I have really enjoyed the preparation portion and am surprised at how much time I have spent. Wish me luck!

Balance 101, part 1

Picture in your mind a man on a stage with a number of plates balanced on top of tall sticks. They are spinning precariously and one begins to wobble. You are sure it will fall, but the man is able to reach it and right it.

I often feel like a less talented version of this man, attempting to keep all of my plates spinning. I have been thinking about this idea for a few weeks now. I believe that the gospel and life are full of opposing ideas that provide a balance: good and evil, sickness and health, care for self and care for others. A sense of well being and joy is the result of good balance. When we are not balanced we experience feelings of uneasiness, frustration and hopelessness to name a few.

One obstacle is that each person's balance is different; we each have different plates. Plates may be such things as personal health, church responsibilities, work, education, family duties, illness, housework or debt. Even more complicated is the name and number of the plates will change as we progress through life.

As I turned to the scriptures to find examples they were a little obscure, but they are there. I thought of Martha (I discussed her last year). In her case the Savior himself pointed out her unbalance. She was too focused on her temporal duties, rather than spiritual matters.
Luke 10:41 And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art ^acareful and troubled about many things:

42 But one thing is needful: and Mary hath ^achosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.

He did not say that she was making a bad choice, but that Mary had chosen the good part.

I thought of Nephi. This example is not as clear, but I read in 2 Nephi 5:6 Wherefore, it came to pass that I, Nephi, did take my family, and also ^aZoram and his family, and Sam, mine elder brother and his family, and Jacob and Joseph, my younger brethren, and also my sisters, and all those who would go with me. And all those who would go with me were those who believed in the ^bwarnings and the revelations of God; wherefore, they did hearken unto my words.

I wonder if Nephi had weighed his different responsibilities of being a leader to his wayward brothers and to his own children. Yes, he was commanded by God to depart. Perhaps it had reached a point where it was no longer possible to care for one group without injuring the other. Nephi, following God's instructions, removed one of his plates.

The last example I thought of was a broad one, the epistles of Paul. In numerous places those early Christians had taken certain doctrines to the extreme. Paul wrote to help bring them back into balance. The people of Thessalonia were under the belief that the second coming of the Lord would be soon. In the Bible dictionary it says that it had "fostered an unhealthy excitement and seemed to countenance improvident idleness." While the doctrine of the second coming was true, the people were placing too much weight and focus on it.

When our equilibrium becomes off something typically happens to bring it to our attention. It can be circumstances colliding, declining health, too much stress, my children's tantrums, etc. They give us a needed wake up call and give us a chance to evaluate our plates and make changes.

In 2010 President Uchtdorf made this statement "There is a beauty and clarity that comes from simplicity that we sometimes do not appreciate in our thirst for intricate solutions." I have a tendency to make things more difficult than they need to be. In part 2 of this balance topic I cover some ideas for finding your own balance.

I will end where I began, the image of the man spinning his plates. Last week I was at the gym, on a bike. As I was thinking about balance I imagined myself on stage struggling with my plates. I felt stretched beyond my abilities and was ready to give up. Suddenly I became aware that the plates were staying in place better. I realized that someone was standing behind me helping- catching the ones that I could not get to. It was my Savior. The picture was so real that it literally took my breath away and brought tears to my eyes. I know that help is available to each one of us; you are not alone!

Quick thought

My apologies for my laxness in writing. I think baby girl has an ear infection and I need to take her in tomorrow. We had stake conference today, but we didn't make it :( We had our own little church at home and watched this talk-The Love of God, by President Uchtdorf.

(photo from lds.org)

I think that as much as our little family loves each other we need to do better. Here are a few highlights-

"Because love is the great commandment, it ought to be at the center of all and everything we do in our own family, in our Church callings, and in our livelihood. Love is the healing balm that repairs rifts in personal and family relationships. It is the bond that unites families, communities, and nations. Love is the power that initiates friendship, tolerance, civility, and respect. It is the source that overcomes divisiveness and hate. Love is the fire that warms our lives with unparalleled joy and divine hope. Love should be our walk and our talk." That is what we are going to work on-having love in our talk.

"When we truly understand what it means to love as Jesus Christ loves us, the confusion clears and our priorities align. Our walk as disciples of Christ becomes more joyful. Our lives take on new meaning. Our relationship with our Heavenly Father becomes more profound. Obedience becomes a joy rather than a burden." How beautiful! To have our confusion cleared and to finally reach the point where obedience is truly joyful.

"Our Father in Heaven has given us, His children, much more than any mortal mind can comprehend. Under His direction the Great Jehovah created this wondrous world we live in. God the Father watches over us, fills our hearts with breathtaking joy, brightens our darkest hours with blessed peace, distills upon our minds precious truths, shepherds us through times of distress, rejoices when we rejoice, and answers our righteous petitions."

"My dear brothers and sisters, don’t get discouraged if you stumble at times. Don’t feel downcast or despair if you don’t feel worthy to be a disciple of Christ at all times. The first step to walking in righteousness is simply to try. We must try to believe. Try to learn of God: read the scriptures; study the words of His latter-day prophets; choose to listen to the Father, and do the things He asks of us. Try and keep on trying until that which seems difficult becomes possible—and that which seems only possible becomes habit and a real part of you." I really loved this paragraph. As long as I keep trying I am doing okay. I only fail if I have stopped trying.

I encouraged our family to listen to Heavenly Father's love this week. Since I spend most of my time with the children it is my responsibility to set the example in this. I pray that I will be able to see the love and point it out to my little loves.